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This fucking weather is kicking the fucking shit out of me lately. Not only that but it has totally fucked with my routine. I was one a nice streak with whores showing up for shoots and even being somewhat prepared (well, as much as these retarded cum dumpster can be.) I started shooting in a studio for one of my projects but I’ve also been shooting some content at my crib for another producer. Both types of shoots are  top notch as anyone would expect from me. The stuff I shoot at my house is a bit more raw and usually just 1st time whores. I’m more in my element fucking up newbies in my pad. The other benefit is that that I can do my shit on a moments notice. I eyeball some hot slut at the bank or a funeral or some shit and I can have be balls deep in her in 45 minutes and editing the footage with 2 hours. THAT’S the speed I operate at. I do not fuck around with trivial bullshit like copies of the ID and signed releases until after I’m pleased with the whore’s performance.

Last night I’m hitting a bottle of Jameson’s Whiskey and watching that pussy Willis Mcgahee fake an injury for sympathy on National television. I would have not only held onto the ball but I would have hopped up and jogged back to the huddle like it was nothing. Mcgahee just doesn’t have any spine though. Fag. Anyway, I’m half shit faced when my phone rings and it’s this broad Kayla that tends bar at one of the joints I frequent. She’s not half bad looking. She’s 27, about 5′ 6″ 115 lbs and nice tits. She talks way too fucking much though so I’m usually on edge within seconds of talking to her. She tells me that she got shit canned from the bar because business is slow blah blah blah. I tell her that we all have problems and to get to the point. She asks me if I had any work for her that doesn’t involve sex or any interaction with other people. I told her that she could shovel out my car for $15 or she could come over and fuck me for $200. She starts moaning about having a boyfriend and other such nonsense. I interrupt her and tell her that I don’t give a fuck either way but I’m hanging up in 30 seconds regardless. She asks if she could come over and just give me a BJ. I said I’d  give her $70 for a BJ and not a penny more but she would have to shovel out my car as well. The dumb ass broke whore agreed. I couldn’t believe it. I totally would have went up to $80 but whatever.

The skank shows up about 45 minutes later and I hand her a shovel. She asks if she can get the BJ over with first. I tell her no. It turns me on more to watch her shovel me out. She asks if she can borrow a pair of work gloves that I have near the door. I tell her no and send her on her way. After 15 minutes I look outside to check on her and the lazy whore is resting on the shovel blowing on her hands. I yell for her to hurry up and to make sure she brushes the snow off of my ride. I go back to my booze and the TV. She eventually comes in and says that she is done. I tell her that I”m  going to check her work before I pay her and that she ain’t getting a nickel if it isn’t done right. She just stands there frozen like a freezepop. Her hands were the color of a plum. I was instantly hard seeing her like that. I tell her that I’m ready to be blown. At this point she looks terrible for video and I’m too loaded to be bothered to record this shit. I tell her to get on her knees and get started. She starts walking towards me AND SHE STARTS TRACKING SNOW ACROSS MY FLOOR! What the fuck is wrong with this dummy? I tell her not to fucking move a muscle. Stay on the front mat and get on her stupid whore knees and get ready. She drops to the floor and she is shaking like a junky without smack. I have her take off her coat and almost fall over laughing when she can’t get her fingers to work on the buttons! Hilarious! I watch her fumble  around for a bit and then tell her to forget it. I don’t want to see her frozen tits anyway. At this point, I’m tired of looking at her so I tell her to get this over with. She gives me the most mediocre blowjob ever. No effort at all. That’s probably the real reason she got fired from the bar. NO EFFORT! Finally I’m able to dump a nut on the pigs frosty mug. I let her know how disappointed I was with her and I tell her to get dressed so I can evaluate her shoveling. She did a decent job so I gave her the full $70 and told her to get lost as soon as she was done cleaning up the snow she tracked all over my floor. I decide to head down to her former place of employment for one last drink and to let her co-workers know how far she has sunk. As I’m leaving she is still walking through my parking lot to her car. I pick up a handfull of snow and drill the dummy off the back of her head with a snowball. Direct fucking hit. She had no sense of humor though so she starts screaming some foolishness as I get in my car and drive off.

I’m fucking sick of winter.

Jack

There has been some talk recently on some of the porn boards about me being a member of the Facial Abuse crew. I want to clear that shit up right the fuck now. I’m not. I will never shoot for facialabuse. Not because it isn’t fucking awesome. It definitely is. I just don’t want some whore to puke all over me the way these guys apparently require. Those fucking guys know how to knock a whore around and I have no problem saying that I’m a fan of their art but being in the same room as puking whores is not my cup of tea. At my shoots if a whore acts up the only thing potentially shooting out of her mouth will be a pint of blood and a few teeth. THAT’S how I roll.

Having said all that, I’d shoot MY OWN STYLE SHIT for those guys. I’ve got some shit going with another BIG production house that trusted me enough to shell out some serious cake for the first 15 scenes. I’d stab those faggots in the back in a second if I could get a better deal with The Facial Abuse dudes. I don’t have any loyalties except to myself and The Cleveland Browns. The Cleveland Browns might even be off the list since they hired that fucking RAT Mangini as head coach. I was hoping that Squeaky Fromme would escape from prison and attack Mangina during his press conference. Fuck him. I hate his rat guts. I wish they held his press conference on the Gaza Strip. Enough about that fruitcake. Getting back to me. I feel like something awesome could come from a working relationship between Jack Hate and Facial Abuse Inc. My only reservation with working with them is that they had that fucking pathetic pickle smoocher Tommy Pistol working with them in the past. I’d require that the studio be disenfected and de-gayed before I ever step foot in to shoot one of my (fucking awesome) scenes. I also want a shitload of money. More than they would ever be comfortable paying. I deserve it. I also deserve to go drink some scotch at my buddy’s house and then I deserve to have a relatively hot 19 year old Asian (chink I believe) come over and bury her flat face onto my meatstick. Both of which will be happening this evening.

Facial Abuse: call me. Just not tonight.

Out!

Jack

Shit finally came to a head yesterday with the whore that’s been following me around and showering me with gifts. I don’t mind the gifts (and I told her that)but the stalking has to stop! Yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m getting ready to leave my parking lot to go to the bank machine and then to shoot a whore. I notice Stalky McStalkstein sitting in her car near the back of the lot. I get out of my car and head right over to her. She rolled down her window and I asked her what she was doing there and if I could borrow $275 for a couple of weeks. She started making small talk and saying how happy she was to see me and all that stupid shit. I told her I was in a rush and I needed the cash. Pronto. She said that she was a little short after paying my electric bill this month. What the fuck ever. I don’t have time for deadbeats so I turned and started to walk away. She starts freaking out.

Stalky: Jack! Wait! I need to talk to you!

Me: Well I need $275 you selfish cunt. Why is it always about you??

Stalky: I have some money. I just don’t have that much right now. I can get it though.

Me: The only thing I hate worse than a cheap bitch is a liar. You are a cheap liar! I hate your guts, LIAR!

This is where she totally loses her shit. She went absolutely mental. She starts pulling on her own hair and crying. She was trying to rip her hair right out of her fucking empty head. It was awesome! She starts screaming shit that was making absolutely no sense. Making animal noises and shit. I couldn’t help but fucking laugh. She looked like such an idiot. She started yelling at me that I love her or some shit. In between belly laughs I tell her that I’d never love such a psycho.

She finally collapses on the ground as the police roll up. They as what’s up and I explain that everything is fine. She’s just a dillusional cunt that thinks someone will love her despite her craziness! I could tell they wanted to laugh but couldn’t. One of the cops reached down to help her up and she swatted at his arm.

Me: Arrest her. I saw the whole thing. That’s fucking assault!

Stalky: I just wanted to be left alone! I wanna die!

Me: But if you die we can’t live happily ever after together…. nah just kidding, psycho.

At this point I realize I’m fucking way late for the shoot. I turn and head back to my car. She jumps up and lunges at me. The cops grab her and she keeps struggling to get at me. I keep heading on my way. I look back in the rearview mirror and see the boys in blue playing stickball with her head their billyclubs.

Ya just have to laugh at the situations these dumb whores get themselves into. I guess that’s why they’re whores and I’m a professional businessman. I take care of business and leave the drama at the door.

Jack

I had an awesome New Years eve. I hope some of you did too. Those of you that I like. The rest of you, I couldn’t give a fuck less how your New Years was. Last night 3 good things happened to me.

1- I saw a broad fall down some stairs.

2- I may have ended a marriage.

3- I won $878 playing poker.

Here’s how my night went. I’ve been supplementing my increasingly more frequent trips to Vegas by driving to Foxwoods Casino in CT. I hate the long drive and the service sucks there but the poker tables are loose. Lot’s of suckers. Anyway, so I get to Foxwoods last night. I’m with that nit wit Jimmy Hooligan. We pull into the parking lot and find a spot near on the last level of the garage. The place is pretty mobbed. As we’re walking through the lot towards the stairs I notice a group of 4 people. 2 pretty hot broads and 2 greasy douchbags. The broads are all slutted up with slinky dresses and super high heels. They’re all acting the fool and being loud. Naturally they need to be the center of attention at all times. We’re probably 10 steps behind these idiots when they reach the stairs. Naturally they don’t stop and hold the door open. We get in the landing and I yell “Hey thanks for holding the door, jerk.” and then the magic happened. They all turned to look at me and one of the whores had already started down the stairs. She must have caught her heel or lost her balance because she went right down the stairs. Ass over tea kettle. I had the most glorious view of it too. That cunt hit the bottom of the stairwell and her legs were a twisted wreck of broken whore bones. Her dress was pulled up and her thong was on display but unfortunately her screaming distracted my attention before I could think to take out my camera phone.  She’s screaming and the idiots she is with don’t have a clue as to what to do. I tell Jimmy to get a move on because I want to hit the tables. He’s a bit stunned but we start walking. I actually step over the whore’s head to get to the door. As i open the door to go into the casino I turn to the group of jerks and say “That’s what ya get for not having manners!” fuck them.

We get to the poker room and I tell Jimmy to get lost. I don’t want him to jinx me. I sit down at an open spot and buy in for $300. The table looks like a bunch of gas station attendants and restaurant dishwashers. 4 people are wearing sports team jerseys. Dummies. The guy to my left is with his chick. After watching several hands I can tell that this guy is the only one at the table with a clue. He’s actually very good.  I get involved with a few hands and hang about even for the first 20 minutes or so. The dude to my left is cleaning up. His chick is about a 6 nothing special at all. Kinda chubby. I decide that my strategy will be to get him off his game by talking to her. I start making small talk with her. Totally ignoring him. He keeps eying me but trying to keep his cool. I start to up the ante and get more personal with her. I could tell she was enjoying the attention. I knew she found me attractive. Most women do. She is still playing it cool. I tell her that I work with models and I think she’d be great (I was lying.) She seemed flattered but her hubby FINALLY tells me to back off. I look at him and he is beat fucking red. I don’t say a word and just hand her my business card. She takes it and is conflicted because she knows he is getting pissed but she is still intrigued. Anyway, this dude is trying to play while all this shit is happening and is totally distracted. He finally has enough when she takes my card and he racks his chips and gets up and leaves. I proceed to take over the table and kick the snot out of the rest of the table for the next 4 hours. I played right through the ball dropping. Who gives a fuck. I was actually up about $1100 when some jackass made a retarded call on my bluff to take down a good size pot. That’s when I scooped up my chips, called him a dumb faggot and walked away. Final tally $878 in profits. Walking back to the car with Jimmy, my cell rings and it’s the married broad from the poker table earlier. She says “I really enjoyed talking to you and want to know more about this modeling business.” I just said “All you need to know about the modeling business is that you are too fat to be in it.” and hung up.

2009 is going to be a good year. For me.

Jack

Hey Kathy Willets, shut your stupid fucking maw. Nobody gives a fuck what an ancient whore thinks about the state of porn or anything else for that matter. The only words coming out of her penis receptacle should be “Put it on the dresser” and “Which hole first?” Nothing else.

To fill everyone in. The grotesque whore Kathy Willets posted this a few days ago. Basically she says that most porn producers are idiots and she is a fucking genius. I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with the fact that she is a fucking lowlife cretin herself and for her to point the finger at anyone else is ridiculous. If I’m not mistaken, this wretched pig did some jail time related to videotaping some of her johns a few years ago. How fucking obnoxious is that? There is exactly ONE  rule for being an escort. “Don’t tell.” She couldn’t be content with just having these scumbags busting nuts on her leathery face for money. She needed to try to ruin their lives as well. Now she feels she should be talking about the state of porn. Like she has any credibility? I wouldn’t ask her stupid fucking ass “what time is it?” and expect her to get it right, never mind fix the adult industry.

What’s next? Are you going to hold a press conference to announce your plan to fix the economy? You are an ugly, delusional, self important skank. Nobody but fat losers with $1,000 and a hardon have heard from you in years and now you pop up to give your 2 cents on how everyone fucked things up? Newsflash (you may not have heard this because you were away): Nobody cares what dumb whores think. It’s true. Masters of Industry are no longer looking for business advice from skanky pigs that take it in the seat for money. If you’d like to offer advice on something you know about, like the dangers of over tanning, speak up. Otherwise, please let the smart people handle this. Go back to the Motel 6 and we’ll call you if we need someone with a face that could scare a buzzard off of a shit truck.

I’m not a fan of yours

Jack

I am so fucking bullshit right now that I can barely type. I got totally fucking ripped off on Christmas. I didn’t get nearly the amount of shit I wanted or expected. I’m a decent fucking dude. I’m good to people all year long and ONE FUCKING DAY out of the year I would like to be shown a little gratitude with a present and I get a bunch of FUCKING BULLSHIT!

Here is the fucking rundown of shit from I got from my cheap ass family and “friends”

My Mom gets me a Nintendo Wii with a few games. and … that’s it. Ummm ok. Thanks for nuthin! The woman works 2 part time jobs in addition to getting Social Security and that’s all she can scrounge up to spend on me. Nice. Selfish!

Jimmy Hooligan who I’ve employed off and on for years. The guy works steady, makes bank and has tons of free time. What does he get me? A friggen $150 Amazon gift card. He couldn’t even leave his fucking house to go shopping for me. I seriously hope that he gets punched in the face by a homeless person next time he is walking downtown. He’s a douchebag and I hate his fucking guts.

My nephew Richie got me a knit hat and gloves. Apparently this fucking 8 year old thinks he knows what kind of fucking gloves and hats I like. He’s fucking wrong! I like black leather gloves not the crappy fucking wool ones he got me. I think he may be fucking retarded or something. He never sees me wearing wool gloves and all of a sudden i get wool gloves from him for christmas. ok whatever doofus. I hope he saved the reciept.

The only person that got me anything fucking decent was (ironically) that fucking whore that won’t leave me alone. The broad that keeps showing up everywhere I am. I get a package from this skank that’s all hand decorated and shit and inside there is an assortment of goodies. There’s one of the new Ipods. Which I wanted. There was a Bose Ipod docking station. There was a bunch of clothes (all in my size!), several gift cards and a note that I haven’t had a chance to read yet. This bothersome cunt actually did it up right. Thank fucking God someone appreciates me. Now if she’ll just leave me the fuck alone.

Anyway, that’s my Christmas. I hope yours sucked just as bad. Why should I have all the misery?

Bah fucking Humbug

Jack

It’s hard to get my running in with all the snow and shit outside here on the east coast. I started playing in a pickup basketball league at a gym near my house to make up for it. I need to get some running around in every day or I go fucking nuts. Last night was a blast. There weren’t enough people for a full court game so we played a round robin one on one tournament. I breezed through my first 2 games. My style is to just hack and hack and hack until the other dude just fucking loses his shit. Basketball like anything else competitive is mostly mental. I don’t give a fuck. I get in the heads of these fucking jerks and end up on top. Anyhow, the last opponent I had to win the tourney was this dude Marcus. He’s a blackguy. Probably no job or anything going for him except hoops. The guy had about 4 inches on me but I could tell right away that he was soft and I’d kick his fucking ass. Before the game he extends his hand for me to shake and says “Good luck, man.” I just slapped it away. “I don’t need any luck against you, BOY.” The dude is already starting to get hot. We might as well have just called the game off after that. So .. the game is close for the first 20 minutes or so. We’re tied 9-9 (game to 11 and you have to win by 2) but this dude is BEAT the fuck up. I checked and shoved and elbowed this guy all night. The other dudes in the tourney were all yelling at me and shit. What do I care? They can yell all they want in loser alley. So, it’s 9-9 and Marcus goes up for a hook shot under the glass when I “Accidentally” take his legs out from under him. He hits the floor like a ton of bricks. I scoop up the ball, clear it and go in for an easy lay-up. He’s still laying on the floor. Apparrently the big fucking pussy hit his head on the floor when he fell. I stood over him and started taunting him to get up and finish. Just then I feel someone come up and push me from behind (like a fucking coward.) It turns out it was his daughter. She was about 10 years old or so. I guess she was pissed off because her dad failed at something else in front of her. I told her “Listen up. Do not EVER fucking touch me again or I’ll kick your ass the way I did your old man’s ass!” and just like that. LIke father like daughter. SHE starts crying and whining. Fucking losers. Now get this. Everyone in the place turns on ME! Like it’s my fault. SHE attacked ME! Long story short, I was escorted out of the gym (victoriously) and told I’m not welcome back to their faggy game. I don’t really give a fuck. I know there’s isn’t the only game in town.

Unrelated but did any of you fucks see the cowboys fall apart against Baltimore. I hate Dallas so in some ways it was a pleasure to watch. I was hoping for Terrel Owens to get his ass broken by Ed Reed on some crossing pattern but didn’t happen. I fucking hate that piece of shit. Always whining about something that got fucked up but never takes responsibility for anything himself. I bet even Jerry  Jones can’t stand him. Tony Romo also sucks for a number of reasons. BTW, I don’t care if he is banging Jessica Simpson or not. I think he’s a fruit. That dude definitely eats corn the long way. I bet he plays football just so he can shower with other men. Fuck him.

Out

Jack

I’ve had another nice little vacation. This time there were no legal issues. I’ve just been busy with a ton of new shit. I’m shooting like a motherfucker and the shit is OUTSTANDING (As you would expect.) The whores are crawling out of the wood work to shoot for pennies on the dollar because the holidays are here. Nothing says merry Christmas to a little kid better than a Tonka truck bought with money earned by your Mom taking it in the can from a stranger or 3. I always get fucking giddy around this time of year. I love the variety of whores that call. Most would never do anything like this if the economy was better. Thanks, you Republican douchebags! If it wasn’t for the culture of greed you created and the economic position you put the country in, I’d be shooting real whores instead of desperate single mothers with nowhere else to turn! I fucking love it!

On another note, I shot some pig a few weeks ago. She’s a 19 year old from Florida. As we all know, nothing good ever comes from Florida. The shoot went pretty horrible. She couldn’t take  direction and didn’t get the job done. It was another waste of time. Whatever. That shit happens all the time when you deal with retards. The problem though, is that this fucking cunt thinks she is in love with me. Seriously. I know a lot of broads go home and rub one out after spending some time with me. I have that affect on women. This one is different. She won’t fucking leave me alone. It’s fucking crazy. I go to the store. She’s there. I go to the bar. She’s there. I can’t even get a cup of coffee without this douchebag showing up. If it goes on much longer I’m going to have to get the police involved. I don’t want to have anything to do with cops but this cunt is crossing the line. As I’ve said before. I rarely hit women. This one is playing with fire though.

Ok. I got shit to do.

Out!

jack

I have a big week. A very big week. I have 4 whores booked for scenes. I’m gearing myself up for only 2 of them to show up. That way I’m not too bullshit when the whores inevitably flake. It’ll happen. I’m ready for it. Like I’m ready for anything.

Whores are not why this is a big week for me though. Something much more important is happening this week. I will be FINALLY getting my college degree! I’ve never felt such a sense of accomplishment from anything in my entire life. I’m not trying to get sappy at all but I FUCKING DID IT! Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at your hard work and say to yourself “You did a great job. Kudos, Jack.”

I was never much of a student back in the day. I never applied myself in school. People would always say to me “Jack, you’re the smartest person I know. Why didn’t you ever go to college?” Now I can finally say “Fuck you, loser! I’m a college graduate!” It feels really awesome. I’m seriously thinking abhout giving up porn now and focusing on some more important work that a scholar like myself should be doing. Maybe I’ll become a teacher or a lawyer or something. I haven’t decided. I didn’t want to get my hopes up until I was near the finish line. Which I am.

 It all came about by accident too. I was emptying my spam folder when I saw a saw an email “Get you degree in 14 days!” actually it said “G3T UR D3GR33 1N i4 D@YZ”. I had to investigate. Apparently, there is a university on a small island in the south pacific that specializes in educating busy people like myself. Their focus is not bogging people down with classes and tests and other bullshit but on REWARDING people for their life’s work. You know this school is the balls as they have a whopping 100% graduation rate! Beat that shit HARVARD!

Anyway, I just wanted to take a moment to brag about my accomplishment. I hate to seem like I’m full of myself but I’m just proud of my accomplishment. I’m sure some of you, the uneducated ones, will be hating on me. Jealous. Envious that I’m a doer and you are not. I understand. today is not a day for me to hate back. It’s a day for me to just bask in my awesomeness.

Smartly yours,

Jack