I Hate Whores is a little fucked up right now because of a server issue. I’ll have the fucking thing fixed ASAP. or heads are gonna roll!

The first sign of fall has arrived. The students have returned to school! I know this because of an annual ritual that happens when they return from their summer vacation. Upon return I’m usually awoken by a phone call from a dumb sophmore, who was a dumb freshman last year that answered one of my ads when she needed money. The dumb whore calls to ask me to take her photos or videos down from whatever site they are on because she regrets doing them. I usually inform her that I regret nothing and will not be taking them down. Here is how this mornings exchange went.

:::phone rings:::

Jack: What?

Dumbwhore: Hi Jack, this is Kimberly blah blah. You may remember me from last December, we-

Jack: I do not.

Dumbwhore: ok. well. I worked with you as a model.  (pause) I answered an ad.

Jack: Get to the point or you’ll be talking to a dial tone in 5 seconds.

Dumbwhore:  I did a porno with you in December and I want you to remove it from the website it’s on.

Jack: I will not.

Dumbwhore: But I really wish I didn’t do it. I just needed the money for school and Christmas. Plus my boyfriend from home found out blah blah blah

Jack: I find your regret and shame very arrousing but I’m still going to have to say no. In fact, I think I may have to make you model of the month for waking me up. You’ll be heavily promoted! You’ll be a star!

Dumbwhore: Please! Please don’t do that! I’ll give you the money back that you paid me. I have $100 right now!

Jack: If I hadn’t given you that $100 I would have invested it in Google stock or something and it would probably be worth $2500 by now. I wouldn’t even entertain selling your scene back to you for less that that. Even then I’m not sure I could part with it.

A this point the dummy is just crying, so I hang up on her and seize the moment and lay there basking in the glow of her shame. Then the phone rings again.

Jack: What?

Dumbwhore: jack, if I can get you the $2500 will you remove the scene?

Jack: The $2500 will only cover what I paid you. I need more for pain and suffering. The only thing I take for my pain and suffering will be your pain and suiffering. Because I’m a gentleman and I know you are in a tough spot, here is the deal. You pay me $2500 and you agree to come by and blow me once a week for the entire school year and I have it removed today. If you miss a visit, you lose the $2500 and the video is posted again.

Dumbwhore: Can’t I just give you the money and call it even? You only paid me $100!

Jack: In 5 seconds I will be hanging up and the offer is off the table. Forever.

Dumbwhore: You’re a fucking asshole! Ok take it down!

Jack: Nice doing business with you!

Maybe the porn industry isn’t dead. I think people just need to be creative in how they make money!

I’m going back to bed, you fucking jerks!

I’ve got some shit I need to deal with for a bit. I’ll check back in a day or so. In the meantime, I’ve added my Amazon Wish List for you jerks to look over.

Don’t be shy. Check the fucking thing out.

-> JackHate’s Amazon Wish List <-

Because times are tough and the summer is a dead time for finding models, I had to resort to calling this idiot whore I know for some pussy last night. She is pretty an ok looking Asian broad and has no self esteem (which I like) but she is so fucking stupid I just want to sew her stupid whore mouth shut rather than listen to her dumb babbling. I met her when she answered an ad for me last year and did some modeling. I shot her for a few things and I passed her off to a buddy of mine and he shot her a a bit too. She decided to stop modeling and just wanted to fuck me off camera. I couldn’t blame her so I helped her out with that.

I had every intention of just staying in last night and knocking one out and then falling peacefully asleep but she came to mind so I called her up and told her I was coming over. I showed up at her place around midnight. She lives with a two roomates that I don’t care for. They were in the livingroom when I walked in. They all said hello to me. To which I did not respond. Fuck them. They are real uptight bible thumper types. I have no time for that shit. So we go into her bedroom and I waste no time in throwing her down and pounding her pussy like it owed me money. I had her little yellow body twisted into so many weird positions you would have thought I was making Chinese pretzels. When I was finshed banging her I made her walk into the kitchen and get me some water, she had to walk right past her roomates while completely naked and covered in spunk. She expressed some hesitation but I was thirsty so she did it. She did not look very comfortable when she returned. That got me ready to fuck her again.

After banging her again she started telling me some stupid shit about her job and friends etc. I told her I needed some quiet time and to shut her yap. We laid there quietly until she asked me how the porn biz was going. Obviously she wasn’t going to stay quiet so I just got up and got dressed. I cannot stand when these broads cannot listen to direction. I walked out past her roomates with her trailing behind me draped in a sheet. They uncomfortably said goodbye and I just responded with “See ya next time I want to fuck your roomate!” Fucking jerks.

Then I just drove home and called another whore I know. She refused to entertain me but instead yapped about what clothes she wanted to buy herself. Apparently I’m supposed to care about that shit. Maybe next time she can tell me about what types of fucking makeup she is interested in. Fucking whores. Killing me.

Jack

Last night I was discussing food and food related TV shows with this whore I know. I give credit where credit is due. She knows food as well as she knows how to manuever herself into position for an anal piledriver without breaking eye contact with her stunt cock. Anyhow, the discussion turned to food personalities and who we both hated. We were both in agreement that that cunt Rachel Ray should be gang banged by the entire AIDS unit of every hospital in in San Francisco for her crime of mediocrity and fake perkiness. You are not funny. You are not sexy and you definitely are not talented. Please do everyone a favor and run a nice warm bath and open a vein. That would be yummers.

Next on the list is the MILP (Mother I’d Love to Punch) Sandra Lee. Wow. Thanks for showing everyone how to open a bag of potato chips you stupid cunt. That certainly qualifies you for a cooking show. When you let your big floppy tits bounce around while talking to the viewer like they’re retards it makes me think that you must have a belly full of network executive DNA to have gotten your own show. You certainly didn’t go into the network to pitch the show by saying “I’d like to do a show where I buy processed shit food from a convenience store, open up the packages and put the shit out on plates. My goal is to get my target audience (idiots 28-45) as fat as I can while creating dinners using the least amount of imagination possible.” I would love to read about you choking to death on a cracker coated with Velveeta. You sicken me.

Rocco Dispirito. You sir, are an idiot. You should be in Sandra Lee’s bra you are such a boob. You have failed at more business ventures than George W Bush. You are unwatchable on TV. You’re the only celebrity chef on the planet that can’t keep a restaurant open. I could open up “The JackHate Diner” and fill more seats than your arrogant ass. Your career has declined so badly that you shill frozen pasta on tv commercials. AWESOME! You couldn’t hurt your image worse if you put out a press release asking for spare change. Child molestors have more charisma than you. Please forget how to breath.

Jack

I kinda fucked up my back at the gym this weekend. Nothing major (not that you fucking jerks care) but enough to aggravate me. The last thing I need is more aggravation in my life. I’m a walking ball of stress when things are going great for me. Nevermind when shit sucks. Anyhow, I work up sore as a motherfucker today and as the day went on it kept getting worse. I decided to get a massage. I wanted it done right so I wasn’t going to go to one of those jack joints where the pigs rub your back for 5 minutes and then give you a hand gallop for $50. I wanted it done right. I did some research online and found reviews for this licensed massage therapist not too far from my house. I call and she can see me this afternoon. I show up and it’s in her house. Whatever. I go in and this broad is actually pretty hot. She’s about 25, 5′ 9″, dark hair and dark eyes. She goes over what she’s going to do. She asks if I want music. I tell her I don’t want music or her to yap during the whole fucking thing. She promised not to talk too much.

We get started and she is actually fucking good. REAL GOOD. About 30 minutes into it I’m feeling great. Very relaxed. I glance over at her and I think she looks even better than when I got there. Probably because my back wasn’t killing me anymore. Then shit got weird.

Me: My back feels much better.

Her: Good. I aim to please.

Me: Great. I’d be pleased if you finished by blowing me. I’ll give you an extra $100

Her: : I don’t do that. Please don’t even suggest that again or I’ll have to terminate this session.

Me: I’ll give you a grand. $1,000 dollars to finish by blowing me. I’m serious.

Her: :pause: a thousand dollars?

Me: Yep. Cash right now. Nobody will ever fucking know.

Her: I don’t know. I never.. blah blah blah

Me: Easy fucking money. 15 minutes and you’re a grand richer.

Her: Umm.. I don’t know. maybe. Ok. Well … ok. I’ll do it but blah blah blah

Me: Great. I’ll give you a $100

Her: What? You said a thousand!!!

Me: Right. That was just to allow you to see that you’re really just a whore and that you’re capable of sucking off a stranger for money. Now I’m teaching you a lesson in economics.

Her: Get out!!! Get the fuck out!

Me: Whatever, whore.

I get up and leave.

The moral of the story is If you plan on being an asshole, plan on getting a free massage!

My back has never felt better.

Jack

Hey VividAlt.com. You’re not fooling anyone, you morons! I hate your dumb site filled with fake alt models. Do you really think people that want to see hot Alt whores are going to be fooled by you putting Ashley Blue in a video fucking a dude with a Circle Jerks Tshirt on? Do you think people will be tricked into thinking she’s a skater chick? Every band shirt worn on the site looks like the fucking thing was pulled off the press 3 minutes before the shit. Really authentic, you jerks! Did you even take the tags off or did you return them after the (horrible) shoot. Couldn’t you even TRY to do it right? Are there NO real Alt Whores in L.A.? Are you too lazy to even bother looking? Isn’t there an organic grocery store that you could go in an wave a wad of cash around in? You could probably cast 10 real punker sluts in an afternoon. I noticed that you had a party for  the release of your dumb video “Circa 82″. You know what would be a fun party? A going away party for you and your terrible site. Seriously. And I mean this in all seriousness. Stop the insanity. Take the site down immediately. Erase all the raw footage you’ve shot for this abortion of a site and let’s forget you shitheads even tried to do this. Also, your porn names are dumb. Eon McKai. I think you mean Iam McGay. Terrible. You probably listen to top 40. I bet you have all of Hannah Montana’s albums you phoney fucking jackass. Why would you even do a site based on a genre you obviously know nothing about. You should probably do a site with porn videos bases on songs by Gloria Estefan. Something you’re passionate about. I’m disapointed in you. F-

Jack

What a fucking day yesterday was. it started off with a long morning meeting with some douchebag that wasted my time with his stupid adult project that will never work. He knew nothing about porn, nothing about business and had no fucking money. Not only that, but he BEGS ME to come to this retarded meeting (which I only did because he is a friend of a good friend of mine) and then gets defensive when I explain that he is just a broke idiot with no vision. He didn’t have an original idea in almost 2 fucking hours. It  so bad that I got up from the table right in the middle of one of his idiotic statements and just fucking left. I really hope that he went right home after the meeting and sliced his wrists. Although I’m not sure he would be able to figure out how to do it without someone showing him.
I head to the gym and have a great workout, finishing up with some relaxing yoga. I’ve had trouble getting relaxed lately and this really did the trick. I felt great after that. It didn’t last for long. I fucked around at home, shot the shit with some friends and then had to go to another meeting. This one was a bit more positive and thankfully didn’t last that long, which was good because I was meeting some people for drinks later. Here is where my relaxation goes to shit. I stop off at this small coffeehouse to get a coffee. I order a large coffee. The douchecunt at the counter is busy talking to her filthy dreadlocked fat fake-vegetarian faux lesbian friend while making up my coffee. I’m watching her pour the shit and she runs out of coffee about halfway through my cup. The cunt then takes my cup over to the HOT WATER dispenser they have for tea and finishes filling my cup up with fucking hot water. I almost shit. She hands me the cup and says “$2.10.” I take the cup from her and take the lid off and dump it on the counter. That was the first thing that got her to stop yapping to her monster of a friend for 2 seconds. She just stared at me in shock. I held her stare for a second and then said “That’s for being a dumb fuck that isn’t even capable of taking pride in the simple task of making fucking coffee. You work in a fucking COFFEESHOP! I don’t want a half cup of water in my coffee, IDIOT! If you can’t do this right, what the fuck is your future looking like?” Surprisingly, this whore apologized and made me a cup of coffee and didn’t charge me. I was still bullshit but I think I performed a public service.
After that I went out and got fucked up. I needed to blow off some steam.
Jack

It’s been a tough week. The whore mill is pretty slow. I had a few job opps but nothing solid so far. I’ve been trying to figure out my next step. Do I just take off on a much needed and MUCH DESERVED vacation and see the world for a year or so? Do I just walk away from the whores and the dummies in the porn biz and go back to work in mainstream entertainment? Do I stick with this shit and start my own websites and sell the fuck out of those?

The state of porn is such that you can’t just shoot regular porn anymore. You need to be super fucked up or super specific and cater to the specific fetishes of all the sick fucking perverts out there. 5 years ago if you put up a site of whores taking facials, you’d be rolling in fucking dough! Even those fucking retards at CumFiesta made money with that embarrassment of a fucking site. The facials were so weak on that site that I think they only hired male talent with prostate cancer for their shoots. I’d like to start a site called PunchFiestsa and just beat up all the male talent from that shameful site. I digress. My point is: NOW in order to make money in porn you need to shoot stuff more and more fucked up. That accountant from Iowa that used to buy memberships to sites like (the dreadful) BangBus to see girls get tooled on can’t get off to that phoney shit anymore. This same dude won’t even take out his credit card and think about buying a membership to a site unless he knows the sluts are going to be getting throat fucked hard enough to make them puke blood. Or he’ll find a site that caters to his love of grandmothers wearing panythouse while jerking off trannies. Nothing else will do! I’m even promoting a site on my blog where sluts are making smoothies IN THEIR ASS! and the fucked up things is PEOPLE  LOVE THAT FUCKING SITE! Welcome to Normalville: Population 0.

I’m at a crossroads here. I have some ideas. I think we all know that whatever I decide to do, I’ll be a huge success. What do you fuckers think I should do? Chime the fuck in on here or the messageboard.

Jack

THEN

NOW

Hey did everyone see that Ginger Lynn made another comeback. I saw a few clips and I think I’d rather get cancer than see them again. I had been wondering what Ginger was up to during her her haitus from porn. Now I know. Snacking.  I’m just horrified at this turn of events. If I spent any more time jerking off to her when I was a teenager she would have had to take out a restraining order against me.  From the looks of it now, all the health clubs in LA have taken restraining orders out against her. Evidently she is still allowed in Taco Bell though. I will say this though: She may have gotten fat but she also got kinda beat looking. She used to have this cute naughty innocence about her. Now she has just looks like she hasn’t slept in a month. I think she left her make-up case back in 1986.

All of these porn whores from the 80’s making comebacks is just absurd. I think the porn industry needs a commisioner. Someone to stand up for the industry and not let women that resemble The Michelin Man get dicked on camera. IT’S NOT GOOD FOR ANYONE! What if a teenager stumbles across it? What if they think that’s what all women look like naked? That could lead to the end of civilization as we know it! Stop old fatties from making porn! The world as we know it DEPENDS ON IT!