This fucking weather is kicking the fucking shit out of me lately. Not only that but it has totally fucked with my routine. I was one a nice streak with whores showing up for shoots and even being somewhat prepared (well, as much as these retarded cum dumpster can be.) I started shooting in a studio for one of my projects but I’ve also been shooting some content at my crib for another producer. Both types of shoots are  top notch as anyone would expect from me. The stuff I shoot at my house is a bit more raw and usually just 1st time whores. I’m more in my element fucking up newbies in my pad. The other benefit is that that I can do my shit on a moments notice. I eyeball some hot slut at the bank or a funeral or some shit and I can have be balls deep in her in 45 minutes and editing the footage with 2 hours. THAT’S the speed I operate at. I do not fuck around with trivial bullshit like copies of the ID and signed releases until after I’m pleased with the whore’s performance.

Last night I’m hitting a bottle of Jameson’s Whiskey and watching that pussy Willis Mcgahee fake an injury for sympathy on National television. I would have not only held onto the ball but I would have hopped up and jogged back to the huddle like it was nothing. Mcgahee just doesn’t have any spine though. Fag. Anyway, I’m half shit faced when my phone rings and it’s this broad Kayla that tends bar at one of the joints I frequent. She’s not half bad looking. She’s 27, about 5′ 6″ 115 lbs and nice tits. She talks way too fucking much though so I’m usually on edge within seconds of talking to her. She tells me that she got shit canned from the bar because business is slow blah blah blah. I tell her that we all have problems and to get to the point. She asks me if I had any work for her that doesn’t involve sex or any interaction with other people. I told her that she could shovel out my car for $15 or she could come over and fuck me for $200. She starts moaning about having a boyfriend and other such nonsense. I interrupt her and tell her that I don’t give a fuck either way but I’m hanging up in 30 seconds regardless. She asks if she could come over and just give me a BJ. I said I’d  give her $70 for a BJ and not a penny more but she would have to shovel out my car as well. The dumb ass broke whore agreed. I couldn’t believe it. I totally would have went up to $80 but whatever.

The skank shows up about 45 minutes later and I hand her a shovel. She asks if she can get the BJ over with first. I tell her no. It turns me on more to watch her shovel me out. She asks if she can borrow a pair of work gloves that I have near the door. I tell her no and send her on her way. After 15 minutes I look outside to check on her and the lazy whore is resting on the shovel blowing on her hands. I yell for her to hurry up and to make sure she brushes the snow off of my ride. I go back to my booze and the TV. She eventually comes in and says that she is done. I tell her that I”m  going to check her work before I pay her and that she ain’t getting a nickel if it isn’t done right. She just stands there frozen like a freezepop. Her hands were the color of a plum. I was instantly hard seeing her like that. I tell her that I’m ready to be blown. At this point she looks terrible for video and I’m too loaded to be bothered to record this shit. I tell her to get on her knees and get started. She starts walking towards me AND SHE STARTS TRACKING SNOW ACROSS MY FLOOR! What the fuck is wrong with this dummy? I tell her not to fucking move a muscle. Stay on the front mat and get on her stupid whore knees and get ready. She drops to the floor and she is shaking like a junky without smack. I have her take off her coat and almost fall over laughing when she can’t get her fingers to work on the buttons! Hilarious! I watch her fumble  around for a bit and then tell her to forget it. I don’t want to see her frozen tits anyway. At this point, I’m tired of looking at her so I tell her to get this over with. She gives me the most mediocre blowjob ever. No effort at all. That’s probably the real reason she got fired from the bar. NO EFFORT! Finally I’m able to dump a nut on the pigs frosty mug. I let her know how disappointed I was with her and I tell her to get dressed so I can evaluate her shoveling. She did a decent job so I gave her the full $70 and told her to get lost as soon as she was done cleaning up the snow she tracked all over my floor. I decide to head down to her former place of employment for one last drink and to let her co-workers know how far she has sunk. As I’m leaving she is still walking through my parking lot to her car. I pick up a handfull of snow and drill the dummy off the back of her head with a snowball. Direct fucking hit. She had no sense of humor though so she starts screaming some foolishness as I get in my car and drive off.

I’m fucking sick of winter.

Jack

There has been some talk recently on some of the porn boards about me being a member of the Facial Abuse crew. I want to clear that shit up right the fuck now. I’m not. I will never shoot for facialabuse. Not because it isn’t fucking awesome. It definitely is. I just don’t want some whore to puke all over me the way these guys apparently require. Those fucking guys know how to knock a whore around and I have no problem saying that I’m a fan of their art but being in the same room as puking whores is not my cup of tea. At my shoots if a whore acts up the only thing potentially shooting out of her mouth will be a pint of blood and a few teeth. THAT’S how I roll.

Having said all that, I’d shoot MY OWN STYLE SHIT for those guys. I’ve got some shit going with another BIG production house that trusted me enough to shell out some serious cake for the first 15 scenes. I’d stab those faggots in the back in a second if I could get a better deal with The Facial Abuse dudes. I don’t have any loyalties except to myself and The Cleveland Browns. The Cleveland Browns might even be off the list since they hired that fucking RAT Mangini as head coach. I was hoping that Squeaky Fromme would escape from prison and attack Mangina during his press conference. Fuck him. I hate his rat guts. I wish they held his press conference on the Gaza Strip. Enough about that fruitcake. Getting back to me. I feel like something awesome could come from a working relationship between Jack Hate and Facial Abuse Inc. My only reservation with working with them is that they had that fucking pathetic pickle smoocher Tommy Pistol working with them in the past. I’d require that the studio be disenfected and de-gayed before I ever step foot in to shoot one of my (fucking awesome) scenes. I also want a shitload of money. More than they would ever be comfortable paying. I deserve it. I also deserve to go drink some scotch at my buddy’s house and then I deserve to have a relatively hot 19 year old Asian (chink I believe) come over and bury her flat face onto my meatstick. Both of which will be happening this evening.

Facial Abuse: call me. Just not tonight.

Out!

Jack

Shit finally came to a head yesterday with the whore that’s been following me around and showering me with gifts. I don’t mind the gifts (and I told her that)but the stalking has to stop! Yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m getting ready to leave my parking lot to go to the bank machine and then to shoot a whore. I notice Stalky McStalkstein sitting in her car near the back of the lot. I get out of my car and head right over to her. She rolled down her window and I asked her what she was doing there and if I could borrow $275 for a couple of weeks. She started making small talk and saying how happy she was to see me and all that stupid shit. I told her I was in a rush and I needed the cash. Pronto. She said that she was a little short after paying my electric bill this month. What the fuck ever. I don’t have time for deadbeats so I turned and started to walk away. She starts freaking out.

Stalky: Jack! Wait! I need to talk to you!

Me: Well I need $275 you selfish cunt. Why is it always about you??

Stalky: I have some money. I just don’t have that much right now. I can get it though.

Me: The only thing I hate worse than a cheap bitch is a liar. You are a cheap liar! I hate your guts, LIAR!

This is where she totally loses her shit. She went absolutely mental. She starts pulling on her own hair and crying. She was trying to rip her hair right out of her fucking empty head. It was awesome! She starts screaming shit that was making absolutely no sense. Making animal noises and shit. I couldn’t help but fucking laugh. She looked like such an idiot. She started yelling at me that I love her or some shit. In between belly laughs I tell her that I’d never love such a psycho.

She finally collapses on the ground as the police roll up. They as what’s up and I explain that everything is fine. She’s just a dillusional cunt that thinks someone will love her despite her craziness! I could tell they wanted to laugh but couldn’t. One of the cops reached down to help her up and she swatted at his arm.

Me: Arrest her. I saw the whole thing. That’s fucking assault!

Stalky: I just wanted to be left alone! I wanna die!

Me: But if you die we can’t live happily ever after together…. nah just kidding, psycho.

At this point I realize I’m fucking way late for the shoot. I turn and head back to my car. She jumps up and lunges at me. The cops grab her and she keeps struggling to get at me. I keep heading on my way. I look back in the rearview mirror and see the boys in blue playing stickball with her head their billyclubs.

Ya just have to laugh at the situations these dumb whores get themselves into. I guess that’s why they’re whores and I’m a professional businessman. I take care of business and leave the drama at the door.

Jack

I had an awesome New Years eve. I hope some of you did too. Those of you that I like. The rest of you, I couldn’t give a fuck less how your New Years was. Last night 3 good things happened to me.

1- I saw a broad fall down some stairs.

2- I may have ended a marriage.

3- I won $878 playing poker.

Here’s how my night went. I’ve been supplementing my increasingly more frequent trips to Vegas by driving to Foxwoods Casino in CT. I hate the long drive and the service sucks there but the poker tables are loose. Lot’s of suckers. Anyway, so I get to Foxwoods last night. I’m with that nit wit Jimmy Hooligan. We pull into the parking lot and find a spot near on the last level of the garage. The place is pretty mobbed. As we’re walking through the lot towards the stairs I notice a group of 4 people. 2 pretty hot broads and 2 greasy douchbags. The broads are all slutted up with slinky dresses and super high heels. They’re all acting the fool and being loud. Naturally they need to be the center of attention at all times. We’re probably 10 steps behind these idiots when they reach the stairs. Naturally they don’t stop and hold the door open. We get in the landing and I yell “Hey thanks for holding the door, jerk.” and then the magic happened. They all turned to look at me and one of the whores had already started down the stairs. She must have caught her heel or lost her balance because she went right down the stairs. Ass over tea kettle. I had the most glorious view of it too. That cunt hit the bottom of the stairwell and her legs were a twisted wreck of broken whore bones. Her dress was pulled up and her thong was on display but unfortunately her screaming distracted my attention before I could think to take out my camera phone.  She’s screaming and the idiots she is with don’t have a clue as to what to do. I tell Jimmy to get a move on because I want to hit the tables. He’s a bit stunned but we start walking. I actually step over the whore’s head to get to the door. As i open the door to go into the casino I turn to the group of jerks and say “That’s what ya get for not having manners!” fuck them.

We get to the poker room and I tell Jimmy to get lost. I don’t want him to jinx me. I sit down at an open spot and buy in for $300. The table looks like a bunch of gas station attendants and restaurant dishwashers. 4 people are wearing sports team jerseys. Dummies. The guy to my left is with his chick. After watching several hands I can tell that this guy is the only one at the table with a clue. He’s actually very good.  I get involved with a few hands and hang about even for the first 20 minutes or so. The dude to my left is cleaning up. His chick is about a 6 nothing special at all. Kinda chubby. I decide that my strategy will be to get him off his game by talking to her. I start making small talk with her. Totally ignoring him. He keeps eying me but trying to keep his cool. I start to up the ante and get more personal with her. I could tell she was enjoying the attention. I knew she found me attractive. Most women do. She is still playing it cool. I tell her that I work with models and I think she’d be great (I was lying.) She seemed flattered but her hubby FINALLY tells me to back off. I look at him and he is beat fucking red. I don’t say a word and just hand her my business card. She takes it and is conflicted because she knows he is getting pissed but she is still intrigued. Anyway, this dude is trying to play while all this shit is happening and is totally distracted. He finally has enough when she takes my card and he racks his chips and gets up and leaves. I proceed to take over the table and kick the snot out of the rest of the table for the next 4 hours. I played right through the ball dropping. Who gives a fuck. I was actually up about $1100 when some jackass made a retarded call on my bluff to take down a good size pot. That’s when I scooped up my chips, called him a dumb faggot and walked away. Final tally $878 in profits. Walking back to the car with Jimmy, my cell rings and it’s the married broad from the poker table earlier. She says “I really enjoyed talking to you and want to know more about this modeling business.” I just said “All you need to know about the modeling business is that you are too fat to be in it.” and hung up.

2009 is going to be a good year. For me.

Jack

Hey Kathy Willets, shut your stupid fucking maw. Nobody gives a fuck what an ancient whore thinks about the state of porn or anything else for that matter. The only words coming out of her penis receptacle should be “Put it on the dresser” and “Which hole first?” Nothing else.

To fill everyone in. The grotesque whore Kathy Willets posted this a few days ago. Basically she says that most porn producers are idiots and she is a fucking genius. I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with the fact that she is a fucking lowlife cretin herself and for her to point the finger at anyone else is ridiculous. If I’m not mistaken, this wretched pig did some jail time related to videotaping some of her johns a few years ago. How fucking obnoxious is that? There is exactly ONE  rule for being an escort. “Don’t tell.” She couldn’t be content with just having these scumbags busting nuts on her leathery face for money. She needed to try to ruin their lives as well. Now she feels she should be talking about the state of porn. Like she has any credibility? I wouldn’t ask her stupid fucking ass “what time is it?” and expect her to get it right, never mind fix the adult industry.

What’s next? Are you going to hold a press conference to announce your plan to fix the economy? You are an ugly, delusional, self important skank. Nobody but fat losers with $1,000 and a hardon have heard from you in years and now you pop up to give your 2 cents on how everyone fucked things up? Newsflash (you may not have heard this because you were away): Nobody cares what dumb whores think. It’s true. Masters of Industry are no longer looking for business advice from skanky pigs that take it in the seat for money. If you’d like to offer advice on something you know about, like the dangers of over tanning, speak up. Otherwise, please let the smart people handle this. Go back to the Motel 6 and we’ll call you if we need someone with a face that could scare a buzzard off of a shit truck.

I’m not a fan of yours

Jack

I am so fucking bullshit right now that I can barely type. I got totally fucking ripped off on Christmas. I didn’t get nearly the amount of shit I wanted or expected. I’m a decent fucking dude. I’m good to people all year long and ONE FUCKING DAY out of the year I would like to be shown a little gratitude with a present and I get a bunch of FUCKING BULLSHIT!

Here is the fucking rundown of shit from I got from my cheap ass family and “friends”

My Mom gets me a Nintendo Wii with a few games. and … that’s it. Ummm ok. Thanks for nuthin! The woman works 2 part time jobs in addition to getting Social Security and that’s all she can scrounge up to spend on me. Nice. Selfish!

Jimmy Hooligan who I’ve employed off and on for years. The guy works steady, makes bank and has tons of free time. What does he get me? A friggen $150 Amazon gift card. He couldn’t even leave his fucking house to go shopping for me. I seriously hope that he gets punched in the face by a homeless person next time he is walking downtown. He’s a douchebag and I hate his fucking guts.

My nephew Richie got me a knit hat and gloves. Apparently this fucking 8 year old thinks he knows what kind of fucking gloves and hats I like. He’s fucking wrong! I like black leather gloves not the crappy fucking wool ones he got me. I think he may be fucking retarded or something. He never sees me wearing wool gloves and all of a sudden i get wool gloves from him for christmas. ok whatever doofus. I hope he saved the reciept.

The only person that got me anything fucking decent was (ironically) that fucking whore that won’t leave me alone. The broad that keeps showing up everywhere I am. I get a package from this skank that’s all hand decorated and shit and inside there is an assortment of goodies. There’s one of the new Ipods. Which I wanted. There was a Bose Ipod docking station. There was a bunch of clothes (all in my size!), several gift cards and a note that I haven’t had a chance to read yet. This bothersome cunt actually did it up right. Thank fucking God someone appreciates me. Now if she’ll just leave me the fuck alone.

Anyway, that’s my Christmas. I hope yours sucked just as bad. Why should I have all the misery?

Bah fucking Humbug

Jack

It’s hard to get my running in with all the snow and shit outside here on the east coast. I started playing in a pickup basketball league at a gym near my house to make up for it. I need to get some running around in every day or I go fucking nuts. Last night was a blast. There weren’t enough people for a full court game so we played a round robin one on one tournament. I breezed through my first 2 games. My style is to just hack and hack and hack until the other dude just fucking loses his shit. Basketball like anything else competitive is mostly mental. I don’t give a fuck. I get in the heads of these fucking jerks and end up on top. Anyhow, the last opponent I had to win the tourney was this dude Marcus. He’s a blackguy. Probably no job or anything going for him except hoops. The guy had about 4 inches on me but I could tell right away that he was soft and I’d kick his fucking ass. Before the game he extends his hand for me to shake and says “Good luck, man.” I just slapped it away. “I don’t need any luck against you, BOY.” The dude is already starting to get hot. We might as well have just called the game off after that. So .. the game is close for the first 20 minutes or so. We’re tied 9-9 (game to 11 and you have to win by 2) but this dude is BEAT the fuck up. I checked and shoved and elbowed this guy all night. The other dudes in the tourney were all yelling at me and shit. What do I care? They can yell all they want in loser alley. So, it’s 9-9 and Marcus goes up for a hook shot under the glass when I “Accidentally” take his legs out from under him. He hits the floor like a ton of bricks. I scoop up the ball, clear it and go in for an easy lay-up. He’s still laying on the floor. Apparrently the big fucking pussy hit his head on the floor when he fell. I stood over him and started taunting him to get up and finish. Just then I feel someone come up and push me from behind (like a fucking coward.) It turns out it was his daughter. She was about 10 years old or so. I guess she was pissed off because her dad failed at something else in front of her. I told her “Listen up. Do not EVER fucking touch me again or I’ll kick your ass the way I did your old man’s ass!” and just like that. LIke father like daughter. SHE starts crying and whining. Fucking losers. Now get this. Everyone in the place turns on ME! Like it’s my fault. SHE attacked ME! Long story short, I was escorted out of the gym (victoriously) and told I’m not welcome back to their faggy game. I don’t really give a fuck. I know there’s isn’t the only game in town.

Unrelated but did any of you fucks see the cowboys fall apart against Baltimore. I hate Dallas so in some ways it was a pleasure to watch. I was hoping for Terrel Owens to get his ass broken by Ed Reed on some crossing pattern but didn’t happen. I fucking hate that piece of shit. Always whining about something that got fucked up but never takes responsibility for anything himself. I bet even Jerry  Jones can’t stand him. Tony Romo also sucks for a number of reasons. BTW, I don’t care if he is banging Jessica Simpson or not. I think he’s a fruit. That dude definitely eats corn the long way. I bet he plays football just so he can shower with other men. Fuck him.

Out

Jack

I’ve had another nice little vacation. This time there were no legal issues. I’ve just been busy with a ton of new shit. I’m shooting like a motherfucker and the shit is OUTSTANDING (As you would expect.) The whores are crawling out of the wood work to shoot for pennies on the dollar because the holidays are here. Nothing says merry Christmas to a little kid better than a Tonka truck bought with money earned by your Mom taking it in the can from a stranger or 3. I always get fucking giddy around this time of year. I love the variety of whores that call. Most would never do anything like this if the economy was better. Thanks, you Republican douchebags! If it wasn’t for the culture of greed you created and the economic position you put the country in, I’d be shooting real whores instead of desperate single mothers with nowhere else to turn! I fucking love it!

On another note, I shot some pig a few weeks ago. She’s a 19 year old from Florida. As we all know, nothing good ever comes from Florida. The shoot went pretty horrible. She couldn’t take  direction and didn’t get the job done. It was another waste of time. Whatever. That shit happens all the time when you deal with retards. The problem though, is that this fucking cunt thinks she is in love with me. Seriously. I know a lot of broads go home and rub one out after spending some time with me. I have that affect on women. This one is different. She won’t fucking leave me alone. It’s fucking crazy. I go to the store. She’s there. I go to the bar. She’s there. I can’t even get a cup of coffee without this douchebag showing up. If it goes on much longer I’m going to have to get the police involved. I don’t want to have anything to do with cops but this cunt is crossing the line. As I’ve said before. I rarely hit women. This one is playing with fire though.

Ok. I got shit to do.

Out!

jack

I have a big week. A very big week. I have 4 whores booked for scenes. I’m gearing myself up for only 2 of them to show up. That way I’m not too bullshit when the whores inevitably flake. It’ll happen. I’m ready for it. Like I’m ready for anything.

Whores are not why this is a big week for me though. Something much more important is happening this week. I will be FINALLY getting my college degree! I’ve never felt such a sense of accomplishment from anything in my entire life. I’m not trying to get sappy at all but I FUCKING DID IT! Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at your hard work and say to yourself “You did a great job. Kudos, Jack.”

I was never much of a student back in the day. I never applied myself in school. People would always say to me “Jack, you’re the smartest person I know. Why didn’t you ever go to college?” Now I can finally say “Fuck you, loser! I’m a college graduate!” It feels really awesome. I’m seriously thinking abhout giving up porn now and focusing on some more important work that a scholar like myself should be doing. Maybe I’ll become a teacher or a lawyer or something. I haven’t decided. I didn’t want to get my hopes up until I was near the finish line. Which I am.

 It all came about by accident too. I was emptying my spam folder when I saw a saw an email “Get you degree in 14 days!” actually it said “G3T UR D3GR33 1N i4 D@YZ”. I had to investigate. Apparently, there is a university on a small island in the south pacific that specializes in educating busy people like myself. Their focus is not bogging people down with classes and tests and other bullshit but on REWARDING people for their life’s work. You know this school is the balls as they have a whopping 100% graduation rate! Beat that shit HARVARD!

Anyway, I just wanted to take a moment to brag about my accomplishment. I hate to seem like I’m full of myself but I’m just proud of my accomplishment. I’m sure some of you, the uneducated ones, will be hating on me. Jealous. Envious that I’m a doer and you are not. I understand. today is not a day for me to hate back. It’s a day for me to just bask in my awesomeness.

Smartly yours,

Jack

Thanksgiving. My least favorite holiday of the fucking year. I have 4 whores booked for next week and all I could think of all day was that they were all stuffing their faces with mashed potatoes all fucking day long. These fucking pigs have no self control. I bet they didn’t even think about my shoot for one second today. As they were shoveling pie into their gaping holes, I’m sure they never considered the impact on MY CAREER their gluttony was having. Whatever fatties. I’ll survive without your help!

I considered my appearance today during dinner. All I ate today was 4 ounces of brussel sprouts. 4 ounces of turkey (white meat) and some salad greens. I washed it all down with about a gallon of water. I try to set a good example for these dumb whores but it doesn’t seem to work. I also spent an hour on the bike this morning too.

I am thankful for a few things this year.

I’m thankful for my good business sense.

I’m thankful for my good looks.

I’m thankful for being able to meet the needs of all the people that count on me every day. I never let anyone down.

I’m thankful for all the cool shit I’ve been able to buy because I know my shit.

I’m thankful for being able to change the lives of all the lowly whores that come into my life.

I’m thankful for being such a great fuck that women throw themselves at me once I’ve fucked them.

I’m grateful that I’m not Nick Manning.

Jack

Here’s more on that awful shoot with the skinny and stupid Antonia.

The dummy sends her obese bf on an errand to get cigarettes for them. Once he leaves, I start the interview. You would have thought I was asking this foolish fuck trivia questions the way she struggled to answer simple questions about HER OWN LIFE! I had to stop several times to let her know just how fucking serious this was becoming. Someone was about to get hurt. Finally I finish with the interview and bring out our male talent for the scene. He literally takes one look at her and turns to me and says “Nope.” I ask him what he’s getting at and he says “Jack, I don’t care if you never hire me again because of this but I am not fucking this scarecrow looking hag. I will not do it.” What do I say to that? How can I argue with it? I wouldn’t fuck the horrible beast. I just said “Fine, get the fuck out of here. Get out of my site before I knock out a few of your teeth. I’ll call you next week.” Then I turn to Antonia the atrocity and say “Look waht you’ve done with your ugliness. Now what do I do? Nobody wants to fuck you! I HATE YOU!!!!!”

To make matters worse, I was down to my last 4 Xanax. I took them and tried to calm down. Finally Fatty Arbuckle returned with their cancer sticks. Just then Antonia pipes up. “Can’t my bf fuck me?” I was shocked. I had never considered that someone as fat and gross as her bf would actually be able to perform sexually. I thought it over and said “Ok. We’ll give it a shot. It won’t be very hot but we might be able to sell it people into watching freaks fuck. it’ll be a novelty shoot.”Then her bf starts to say “Jack, I’ll totally-” “Dude, seriously. Shut up. I don’t want to hear a word out of your fat face. Here’s THE DEAL. You fuck her the way I tell you. Do not improvise. Do not do a fucking thing that I don’t tell you to do. If you fuck this up, she doesn’t get paid. Do you understand, Jabba?” He just nodded and we got ready to go.

The sex was a fucking disaster. Just a sad sad display. This fucking dude, was built like a mound of horse shit. When he takes down his pants to get going, he is wearing underpants that looked like they were unearthed in King Tut’s tomb. Those tattered drawers only distracted everyone from the real obvious issue with him for a moment. This fucking idiot’s cock was seriously 3″ long when erect. He couldn’t even fuck this skinny whore in most positions because either his tiny cock wouldn’t reach or his fat fucking stomach would get in the way. Watching him fuck was like watching a guy with no arms try to pat himself on the back. Frustrating and sad.

We got the bare minimum of footage and then I pleaded with them to get dressed and get the fuck out of there. I wish there was a way to erase that horrific display from my mind. Since there isn’t, I’ll just move on to the next whore like the professional that I am.

Jack

Ok, so this scrawny whore shows up for her shoot a couple of weeks ago. Iknow immediately that she is going to be nothing but trouble when the first thing out of her dumb mouth is

scrawny whore:”Can I have $10 up front so that me and my boyfriend can get cigarettes.”

Me:”absolutely not. You get paid at the conclusion of the shoot.”

Scrawny whore: “I don’t think I’ll be able to do the shoot if I can’t get cigarettes.”

Me: “See ya!”

She just stands there staring at me.

Me: “Listen, dummy. You don’t have $10 for smokes and you think you’re going to make me believe you are going to walk away from this shoot and not get paid a dime? You’re as dumb as you are ugly.”

Scrawny whore: “I just wanted to get some cigarettes so I can relax.”

Me: “I shouldn’t do this just out of spite because of your dumb game playing. I’m a decent person so I’ll make you this generous offer. How much are you getting for today’s shoot?”

Scrawny whore: “You said I’d get $135 for the scene.”

Me: “Ok, here’s what I’m going to do. I’ll give you the $10 now for your smokes but I’m only going to pay you $100 for the scene. Does that sound fair?”

Scrawny whore: “NO! No it doesn’t sound fair at all.”

Me: “That’s because it’s not. But that’s neither here nor there. That’s the deal. You can have $135 in 3 hours or you can have $10 now and $90 in 3 hours. Up to you. How badly do you need a smoke?”

Scrawny whore: “fine. ok. fuck it! I’ll take the $10 now.”

I pay the whore the $10 just as her fat fucking load of a boyfriend finally drags his fat fucking body up the stairs and into the room.

She hands him the $10 and tells him to go to the store and get them cigarettes. You can totally see it register on his face the fact that he now has to WALK all the way down the stairs and to the store. It’s almost a 3 minute walk for a human. For this bag of shit, it would probably take a half hour. That’s not including time for him to stop on the way and eat a stray cat or dog that crosses his path. Pathetic fucking pig.

Anyway, that’s just the first 5 minutes of Skeletor’s arrival. I’ll get back to you tomorrowor monday and fill you in on the rest of the day. It seriously became a nightmare.

Out!

jack

This is Antonia who I renamed Cunty because of her attitude. She’s a moronic whore that I shot a few weeks ago. I finally got around to looking at the pictures from the shoot this morning. This is what I was rewarded with. Great. This whore is already pretty beat and yet she feels the need to ensure that nobody will buy this scene by having facial expressions like this in half the shots. In the industry these shots are called “Pretty girls” not “living dead girls.”

I have a shitload to do today trying to line stuff up for the weekend. I want to try to shoot some of these whores before they get all fat on turkey and mashed potatoes next week. I’ll fill you jerks in later on the shoot with Cunty. You think she is a fucking load wait til you see her boyfriend who did the shoot with her. He makes Ron Jeremy look fit. Terrible. They are just two desperate unattractive people clumsily fucking their way through life.

Jack

I’m not really the sentimental type when it comes to people biting the dust but I want to take a moment today to recognize The late Buck Adams, who croaked last week. Buck was the man. For many reasons. His ability to fuck was not one of them. He was a marginal performer at best. When he’d pull out to bust a nut on some dead-eyed whore, it was like watching a naked hobo try to milk 2 drops of venom from a baby cobra. It HURT to watch this dude pull one out. When I heard that he shit the bed, I was sure it was because he finally yanked his cock clear off and bled to death.

Why he IS (was) THE MAN, is because of what he was able to do with his life. Here is an average looking dude that can’t fuck that well that was able to GET PAID to fuck the hottest whores of the 80’s, 90’s and even up to the present he was still banging out halfway decent pigs. Another reason is because of HOW he got into the business. His skanky (horse-faced) sister Amber Lynn brought him into the business. His SISTER gave him the opportunity to fuck whores for a living. How sweet is that?

The main reason he is (was) the man was how he lived his life. All he ever did was get paid to fuck bitches, drink, smoke and do drugs AND live to be 52 fucking years old! People may say he that’s young. Fuck those people. Buck Adams did not get cheated. He cheated God out of making him live out the later part of his life unable to do any of the AWESOME things he loved to do. Would Buck have really wanted to be 85 years old, living in assisted living, broke, unable to fuck and get loaded? I doubt it. That fucker squeezed every drop out of life. He packed 85 years of living into 52 years. Let’s see any of you pussies do that!

As a tribute to the legend Buck Adams, I, Jack Hate intend to stay drunk from Friday at 10AM until Monday AM. At various times during the weekend, I will have luke warm sex with several women.

You live with the angels now, Buck.

jack

Meet the oldest Russian whore in excistance Kissa KuntStinko. This beat pig was once a stripper now currently whores herself out as a “Model.”In here case, that is like leaving your job as CEO of a Fortune 500 company to be a contestant on “The Price is Right. ” At least strip clubs are dark. I should have shot this sloppy whore with the lights out too. She may have had the worst tattoos I’ve ever seen on a woman. They looked like her tattoo artist applied them with a paintball gun. Atrocious. She also had fake tits that looked as though she put them in during the car ride to the shoot. I was worried when I saw a picture of them. In real life they looked like someone slid two soup bowls under her skin and weren’t really particular about where they ended up. Her face was nothing to write home about either. Her eyes looked as though she hadn’t slept since the discovery of meth amphetamine. Her skin had the color of coffee ice cream and the texture of a roof shingle. She also kinda smelled like cabbage. Not my favorite model at all.

Kissa the cunt had a few attributes I liked though. She had the ability to take herself to a “Happy place” while i was fucking her up. I love that shit. Just seeing the whore tune out. That’s the shit that gets Jack Hate out of bed in the morning. I auditioned some new dude with her. The guy’s name is Frank or some shit. I renamed him Grizzly because he is a hairy motherfucker. He did ok. He kind of got caught up in the moment and started making fun of dumb Kissa. Who could blame him. To his credit he ignored all the bad things about her and actually tit fucked that beat whore and nutted all over the dumb look on her face. I’ll give him another shot to see if he can actually handle the job. The knucklehead actually brought his girlfriend to the shoot with him. She was a little freaked out to see the kind of stuff in real life but she made it to the end of the shoot without running out. Maybe Grizz will convince her that a career in porn is just the thing she needs! OK that’s it for now.

Out!

Jack

Tune in Monday for all the details if this whore actually shows up. This broad could be interesting. She says she’s 30 which means she’s probably 37 in real life. She has fake tits that look like she had them installed by a blind cobbler. They are pretty big though. i really hope she isn’t a frustrating bitch. I need a nice relaxing Friday.

I may update from the shoot later if I have time.

Later Jerks!

Jack

As you all know by now, I had some shit go down recently. Tough fucking times, but I managed to survive. I learned a lot. Especially who my friends were and weren’t. A good example of a friend would be Jimmy. He would call and see how things were going. He’d also occasionally try to borrow money or ask if I had any spare whores around. But he would always ask how i was doing before trying to scam me out of shit. THAT is a real friend.

An example of a fair weather friend would be “My buddy” That has the blog “EatADump.com. We have been internet friends for awhile. We write back and forth a bit. Nothing too much. Now, when I was away working on the issues that presented themselves to me, did I hear from this JERK? Nope! Not a fucking word. Would it have been nice to just get one email saying “Hey Jack, word on the street is that you’re going through some shit. Anything I can do?” Instead I get NOTHING! WHAT THE FUCK? YOU FUCKING JERK!!!!!!!!!

Fast forward to a couple of days ago. “Hey man, I see that your site is back up and running. Can you plug my new movie?” Huh? I must have missed the part where he wrote “Glad to have you back” or “PLEASE plug my movie” Granted this dude does some good work. BUT do I indulge him and plug his new movie? Yes, I will. You know why? Because I’m ABOVE all the bullshit. I’m a better friend! I just let the shit roll off my back. No big deal. I’m Mr. NO DRAMA. I just get over shit and look to the forward. Not the past. So…

Here’s your FUCKING PLUG, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

 Everyone please run out and buy this DVD. Never in the history of pornography has someone done something so innovative, so captivating, so earth shattering! From the creative genius, Shameless comes the groundbreaking video “Shameless Amateurs.” What kind of great mind thinks up the concept of hiring amateur whores and paying them to masturbate on video? Shameless, that’s who! I, for one cannot wait to see what he comes up with next! Maybe he’ll hire whores to fuck on video! Bow down to Shameless, the greatest pornographer that ever lived!

 How’s that for a plug, you fucking douchebag!

Jack

Guess who didn’t like being featured on my (tremendously popular) blog yesterday? Bobbi the boob. I was shocked that the dumb bitch could actually read or operate a computer. The dummy could barely operate her skanky snapper. She called me this morning asking me to remove the posting. Yeah ok. I’ll get right on that. She feels quite a bit tougher over the phone than she was in person. She tells me that “you’ll be sorry” if I continue to post shit about her. Fuck that bullshit. I told her that if she had a problem we could settle it with our fists LIKE  ADULTS. She wasn’t so tough anymore. All of a sudden her tone changes and she starts making excuses “I’m a girl. blah blah blah” Whatever. You want to start talking shit, get ready to back it up. End of story. Now, I rarely hit women. Even more rarely will I hit them with my full strength behind the punch or kick. I understand that they need the playing field leveled a bit. I’m more than willing to do that. I will not stand for a whore to talk shit though. I just lose it. I can’t help myself. I’ll go all OJ Simpson on the whore. I think most of you can agree that my behaviour is justified in instances like that. So, fuck her and her stupid demand that I take down that post.

In other news. I have a full weekend of shooting coming up. I had even more whores lined up but the idiot strippers I had planned on shooting on Saturday flaked (as strippers are apt to do.) Hopefully they’ll spend their Saturday getting groped by drunk frat boys with no money at the shithole club they work in. They were both semi beat anyway. One had a great set of tits though. Just enough to distract a viewer from her busted mug. The other one looked like she is on the opposite of a hunger strike. How can you be a stripper and be that fat? I was hoping that when I hired them, I’d be able to shoot the fat one from an angle that was more flattering. Like maybe through a brick wall. Oh well. No loss. Gimme a call when you learn responsibility and you lose 50lbs you fat fuck.

I’ll keep you updated on this weekends shoots. That is if any of these pigs show up.

Out!

Jack 

Meet Bobbi. She’s an idiot. I shot her a couple of weeks ago after she answered one of my ads. 35 minutes into the shoot I was considering switching from a camera to a handgun. What an annoying whore. There was absolutely nothing that was easy enough for her to do without 5 minutes of direction. See the example above.

When I was taking this picture this dummy apparently thought I said “Hey, collapse on the couch like you just worked a doube waiting tables at Denny’s.” Seriously? Who the fuck thinks that is sexy? Is that pose really that complicated that you can’t seem to grasp “lay down on the couch?” She looks as though she was dumped onto the couch from a trash can. This wretched cunt’s only saving grace was that she was a complete fucking pig with no boundaries. This skank would have done a donkey show for $80 if I could have found a donkey with low enough standards to fuck her. We did put her tolerance through the test though. The dude we had fucking her knocked her stupid ass around like she owed him money. He was slapping her across the face so hard that at one point I thought a tooth was going to come flying out of her mouth. That would have been awesome. He also choked her a few times til she turned the purple. I liked it. She didn’t. The scene was exactly what I was hoping it would be. Unenjoyable for her. I don’t think she’ll be back. Whatever though, there are plenty more loser whores to break into the biz.

Out!

Jack

I’m back. Not that any of you fucks missed me enough to even ask where I was. THANKS A LOT YOU FUCKING JERKS! I certainly don’t feel like i owe anyone an explaination but I’ll fill you in anyway. Some of you know that I have had occasional run-ins with the law. Recently I was unjustly accused of punching some fucking ASSHOLE in the face (deservedly so) at a bar that I go to on occasion. Without admitting anything I will say that Yes I punched the fucking pussy in his stupid grill. AND yes I had been drinking and on a few pills. BUT this fucking clown was asking for it. No need to get into the details of me kicking him in his face while he was on the ground unconcious but I’ll tell you this much, That fucking jerk is going to say “excuse me” to the next guy he bumps into!

As part of the resolution of my case, I needed to agree to some barbaric conditions in order to avoid jail time. I had to submit to drug testing for 1 month. Totally unreasonable. Luckily I know of some decent masking agents to get around this BULLSHIT! I also had to go to an anger management type class. Ridiculous. That class pissed me off more than the dude I sucker punched. I bit my tongue and got through it though. Twice a week for 2 hours. It felt like it would never end. I had to repeat one of the classes because I “threw a chair”, which is totally misleading. I actually just tossed it lightly it at this chick that just wouldn’t shut her stupid mouth no matter how much I glared at her. I did manage to finish the class though. The last condition was writing an apology to the guy I beat up. This was the easiest part. I just paid a whore I know to write some shit up. Done done and done.

FREEDOM!

While all this shit was going down, I also had some other more serious shit in the works. I signed a deal with a pretty big company that wanted to put out my awesome work. The site will basically feature me shooting amateur whores and initiating them into the industry. I’ve already begun shooting and the results are terrible. Well, my part is fantastic. Of course, I can’t count on anyone else to keep up their end of the bargain. Everyone from my cameraman (idiotboy) Jimmy to the retarded whores that can’t even remember to bring their fucking shoes to the shoot seem to be against me. Somehow I manage to make it work though. I’ll be posting reports on here as well as updating you on all this new shit. I’ll let you all know when the site launches and all that good shit.

Lastly, I still think Nick Manning should hang himself.

Out!

Jack

The dark haired cunt that I met at 8 Minute Dating’s name was Angel. She turned out to be anything but. Here’s the deal. I call the her up on Thursday and tell her that we’re going out on Friday. She starts playing it off like she has some “other” plans already. I tell her that she should immediately delete my number from her phone if she is going to already start playing fucking games. I don’t need that stupid shit. Naturally she tells me she’ll reschedule her phony fucking plans for later. Whatever. She starts giving me some shit about not calling her the day after we met like I had promised. That’s why she made plans.

Me: You are really starting to bring me down with all this talk about my broken promises. Promises are for the weak. I don’t PLAN shit. I just LIVE shit. If you can’t deal with that then hit the fucking road.

Angel the nag: Sorry. I was just saying. It’s not a big deal.

Me: Can we please just fucking move on? where are you taking me tomorrow?

Angel the nag: Well… there’s a loft party I was invited to. We could do that.

Me: Will there be any pussy there?

Angel the nag: What do you mean?

Me: Pussy. Good looking broads. Sluts. Whores. Chicks. Cum Dumpsters.

Angel the nag: I thought this was a date. You and me.

Me: You are awful fucking clingy. We’ve never even been on a fucking date and your putting all these fucking restrictions on me? You are one warped fucking broad. No wonder you have to go to dating events to get a man.

Angel the nag: I just thought we would hang out and get to know each other.

Me: Oh yeah, so that you can try to change me into some fucking zombie dude? No thanks, you creepy fuck.

I just hung up and made myself a gin and tonic and sat down to try to calm down. These broads think they can do anything they fucking want. MEN have trained them this way. “Please control my life because you have a pussy!” Fucking idiots. Not me. I’d rather fuck porn whores the rest of my life than put up with that shit.

I just sat there on my couch getting more and more pissed off and buzzed. I finished what was left of the bottle of Bombay Sapphire. Bored, angry and horny, I decided to call Angel and set things straight.

Me: We got off on the wrong foot earlier. I’m willing to give you another shot to make this right.

Angel the nag: I’m not sure how it got messed up but I’m willing to try again.

Me: Here’s what you are going to do. I want you to come over my apartment to talk right now. Stop on the way and pick up a box of rubbers and a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin.

Angel the nag: um. Ok.

I tell her my address and lay back down on the couch. I accidentally dozed off. When I woke up it was 3 hours later and my cell had 7 missed calls. All of them from Angel (I knew this whore was clingy.) Apparently she came by and rang the buzzer and I didn’t hear it. She waited for awhile until someone let her the building and she came up to my apartment and knocked on the door. I must have slept through that. I must have really been tired. Anyway, the last message she left, she was crying and called ME and asshole. As if I MEANT to fall asleep and miss out on some new pussy. She was nothing but trouble anyway. fuck her.

I never called her back. I knew it would only lead to her being a big disappointment. This is the kind of shit you get when you deal with civilians. They’re all kinda fucked in their own way. The one good thing about the evening was when I went to leave my house on Friday morning, there was a new bottle of gin and a full box of rubbers in front of my door!

My date with an Angel was a complete failure but Saturday’s date with the blonde (Kristina) was just a fucking nightmare. More on that tomorrow.

Out!

Jack

What a fucking week. As you could probably tell, I didn’t have much time to update the blog this past week. I barely found the time to call out that fucking creepy omelette cooking weirdo Porn Dan. I could not let that fucking faggy shit pass without commenting. Anyhow, I have a lot of shit to get to this week. I went out with both those fucking whores from 8 Minute dating this weekend. Both were fucking disasters, as you would imagine from them going to that stupid thing in the first place. If you are a semi-hot piece of ass and you NEED to go shop yourself to strangers at a dating event, there HAS TO BE something really fucked up about you. I’ll get into the dates tomorrow.

 I also spent the last week negotiating with a very large company that want me  to develop some websites for them. Obviously, this companies have the good sense to want to work with me. The fucked up thing is trying to get anything moving faster than a fucking snail’s pace. What the fuck is the hold up on every fucking issue? My past issues with the law have all been resolved, so I can’t see why we need to rehash that stuff at every fucking meeting. I’ve agreed to all the anger management bullshit. LET IT FUCKING GO, YOU FUCKING CUNTS!!!!! This is getting ridiculous. I understand the money we agreed to was quite a bit more than you pay other producers, but you get what you pay for. I’m sure Metallica gets paid a bit more than Los Lobos when they are booked for a show. Quality. It’s all about the quality. Can we please get this fucking shit done so I can get on with my FUCKING LIFE?

In addition to all that bullshit. I think I may be self destructing too. I blacked out Saturday night until Sunday afternoon. Not that blacking out is uncommon for me, but I can’t seem to locate anyone that knows what I did and where I was. I started drinking Saturday morning after my workout. I added a few vicodin into the mix before I went out with the dummy from 8 Minute Dating. The last thing I remember is yelling at her on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant and then waking up about 15 hours later in my place. My phone was smashed off of a wall and I had dried blood on my knuckles. My CC had charges from 3 bars that I have no recollection of going to. One of them was a titty bar. Pretty fucked up. I think I better lay off the booze until late afternoons from now on.

Well there ya have it. You fucking jerks are pretty much caught up to date. I’ll fill you fucks in on my dates tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll be able to give you some news on the business front too.

Out!

Jack

Good fucking God.

I just read the following on XXXPornTalk.Com

This Wednesday World Renowned Director Jim Powers will be shooting his most romantic movie yet, as Ami Emerson will dine on a 70 man cum omelet. Powers, fresh off his win for producing the couple scene of the year at the iPorn Sexopolis Sunset Strip Awards aid, “I feel inspired to produce something every couple in love should be able to watch together. What better way to spend a romantic night than cuddling on the couch, watching a sweet young girl, eating a 70 man cum omelet.”
blah blah blah
Powers went on a nation wide search to find one man sick and twisted enough to be the chef to cook all the cum. He realized there was only one man out there who us up to the task, “Porno” Dan Leal. Leal stated, “I am truly honored to be given the task of cooking the cum. Guys please come on down and drop a load for this record breaking effort. It’s a great way to make a quick buck, plus I am going to be casting for some new reality sites. This could be your big chance to break into porn.”

blah blah blah

I cannot take another fucking second of this Porno Dan retard. Is there nothing you won’t do for attention? I’ve been meaning to write about how much I fucking loathe you since your birthday party and Sexopolis attention whoring threads on XXXPornTalk. That’s not to say I started hating you then. My hate goes back much further than that. Christ, you are an annoying fucking tool. Please take your ridiculous act elsewhere. It’s been great laughing at you over the years but I think it’s time to move on to someone new. Now you are no longer someone to ridicule for fun, now you’re just making people mad.

I have to address your involvement in hetero porn as it seems like an odd fit for someone as fruity as you. Watching you fuck broads is as out of place as Stephen Hawking auditioning for Dancing With The Stars. What I’m trying to say is … you look like a pickle smoocher. Totally. I mean seriously. Everyone thinks it. Has anyone actually mentioned it to you? Dude, I have fabric softener that is rougher around the edges than you are. Now this cooking the omelette thing. WTF? Nothing slightly gay about standing over a hot stove with a pan full of jizz cooking in front of you? I assume you’ll be wearing an apron to hide your erection. I can totally see you tasting it for seasoning and people gagging while you respond “What’s the big deal? It’s just cum!” I’m seriously disgusted by you.

In addition to what I mention previously, I also hate everything else about you. Specifically, your phony life of the party persona. Your “I love women” schtick. Dan, you love women so much because you practically are one! BTW, you are not an overgrown frat boy. I’m sure the closest you’ve come to being a frat boy was jacking off thinking about frat boys.

Also, your hair is stupid.

Lastly, So is your dumb domain “TheLittlePenisThatCould” it really should be TheLittlePenisThatNeedsAttention”. Get some help, fuckface.

Jack

I realized this weekend that I really haven’t banged a broad that wasn’t a porn whore for months. The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. It’s not as though I NEED to bang PWs. I’ve done just fine with civilian pussy over the years. I decided that I needed to get back in the game a bit. It wasn’t the sex that I needed, it was just to stay in practice. I needed a new venue though. Going into a club and picking up a bitch is like shooting fish in a barrel when you have the kind of good looks and charm that I do. I wanted to do this shit one on one. Put myself on the spot. Win a broad over under pressure. That’s why I chose to go to 8 minute dating last night. The concept is that you have a private 8 minutes with every chick in the joint in order to get to know each other.

The event took place in a neighborhood bar not far from my place. The bar fancied itself to be some sort of an Irish pub. Unfortunately they didn’t even have Guiness on tap. Nice Irish pub, jerks. Anyway, I arrive a few minutes early to scope things out. I notice there are already 5 broads sitting there waiting for the shit to start. There was also one dude kind of hanging around by the perimeter. My first instinct was to go and get noticed by the whores. Get them thinking about me. I thought about it for a second and decided the best course of action would be to eliminate the competition. He was kind of average looking and seemed somewhat shy around broads but why risk it. I approached him,

Me: “Hey man, are you here for the dating event?”

Chump: “Yeah. My first time. You?

Me: “I’ve been a bunch of times.” I lied “These broads are tough. They really grill you.”

Chump: “Really? Like what do they ask you?”

Me” Well, I’ll tell you right now the first thing they are going to want to know is what you do for work and how much you make. My guess is they’ll go right for that because of the way you are dressed. They’ll probably think you do something boring. Like an accountant or something.”

Chump:” Actually, I am an accountant. Why is that a problem?”

Me: “No offense pal, but when was the last time you heard a chick say that she needed something new and exciting in her life and an accountant is just the type of free spirit that can give her what she wants?”

Chump: “Well, what do you do?”

Me: “I’m a treasure hunter. I locate historical shipwrecks and bring up their treasures. I donate most of the bounty to museums as I no longer need money.”

Chump:”Oh. I see. And with a job like that why do you need to come to 8 minute dating?”

Me:”I’m constantly travelling. I need to find someone that is ok with seeing the world with me. Someone that is up for the highly taxing lifestyle. Plus, I love meeting new women. I view it the way I view finding a sunken ship. You never know what you are going to find on any given day.”

Chump: “I see.”

Me: “Well, it looks like it’s just you and me today. You never know. There might be a chick that is really into long division here. Good luck, pal.”

Chump:” This might not be my scene. I think I’m going to get going. Have fun though.”

Me: “Good decision. This isn’t the place for you.”

The number jerk leaves and it’s just me and 5 girls. I take my seat and start accessing shit. 2 of the girls are overweight, so they are automatically disqualified. 1 is just fugly looking. and the last 2 look pretty good. One is a blonde, about 26, nice body, good rack and a cute face. The other is kind of a fake alt chick. She has jet black hair and a huge set of tits. She’s dressing kind of funky compared to the other one.

The dude hosting gets up and gives his talk about how this is going to work. He makes a joke about how it’s a bit lopsided with me being the only guy. The girls laugh. I don’t. I’m focused. In the zone. When he is finished he asks if there are any questions. I stand up.

Me: “I’d like to save some time and awkwardness and let the 2 fat chicks and that broad know that I’m not at all interested. You can leave now or we can sit in silence for 8 minutes.”

The fake alt chick laughed for some reason and the rest of the place was kind of quiet. The host just stood there not knowing what to say. Finally after a minute or so the 3 girls I shunned were packing up and slinking away to go eat some fast food or whatever the fuck they do. Time to get going.

The blonde sat down first and began questioning me about this and that. I stopped her and redirected her focus onto something more familiar to her. Herself.

Me: “I think we both know I have my shit together. The question really is ‘Why you? Why should I choose you?’

Blonde whore: “I was thinking that we BOTH had a say in this.”

Me: “Don’t think. Just follow your gut. You know that I’m going to provide the excitement you need in life. You THINK you want security and a nice guy. You KNOW in your heart that you just want to be fucked by someone that knows what the fuck they are doing. You WANT passion. You WANT me.”

Blonde whore: “I don’t know. Maybe I do. I’m not really sure.”

Me: “If you are not sure, get up and get going because I know what the fuck I want and it’s someone that doesn’t sit on the fence. It’s someone that is ready to go for the ride. Hold on tight or get the fuck  going and send the brunette over.”

Blonde whore: (long pause) “Ok. Pick me. I want to go for the ride.”

Me: “Maybe. Times up. Wait over there.”

Blonde whore: “Please.” as she gets up and walks away.”

The black haired whore comes over and sits down. She has a cocky look on her face.

Black haired whore:”First of all, that was freakin funny as hell telling those fatties to leave.”

Me: “I wouldn’t laugh too hard. You were right on the borderline. I just kept you around to make the blonde work for it. What makes you so special?”

She was not expecting this. I could tell it took her out of her comfort zone, which is exactly what I wanted.

Black haired whore:”Well, I’m more fun than her. She looks like a blonde bimbo. I’m interesting. I do a lot of fun stuff.”

Me: “Interesting is a dime a dozen. I can find interesting anywhere. Fuck. I can PRETEND you’re interesting if I want. What else do you have?”

Black haired whore:” I fuck on the first date.”

Me: “I could get her to fuck me in the bathroom right now. Next.”

Black haired whore:” I don’t know. What do you want?”

Me: “Full control. Of you. Starting now.”

Black haired whore:” What? Really? I don’t even know you.”

Me: “You have 3 seconds to decide.”

Black haired whore:”Ok. Ok. I’ll do it. Whatever you want.”

Me:” Fail. Freak. I was just fucking around. get lost. You lose.”

Black haired whore:”but….”

Me: “Bye. See ya.”

She gets up and starts to leave. I tell her to stop and wait for a minute. I call the blonde over and have them both sit down. The event host is still just sitting down watching the whole thing unfold.

Me: “Obviously, you both want to be with me. You both have some qualities I like and some things about you that I fucking hate. I’ve decided I’m going to give you both a chance. I will see each of you once this week and make  a decision based on that date. Give me your numbers and get going. Go home and think of where you want to take me on our date. I’ll call you both tomorrow and set something up.

I thought the night was a success. These broads were as easy to manipulate as regular porn whores but without the banged out pussies. I guess we’ll see how this goes this week. I’ll keep you fuckers posted.

Out!

Jack